tutta forza

Mixed Marriages

I got this joke in e-mail the other day:

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her father cussed her. "Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru?" The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff....dad....I became a prostitute.." "Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family." "OK, dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for $5 million. For me little brother this gold Rolex and for ye daddy the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club....(takes a breath)....an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and...." "Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad. The girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff....a prostitute dad! Sniff, sniff." "Oh! Be Jesus! -- Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant'. Come here and give yer old man a big hug!

Yvette's rich-as-hell uncle visited us once before he succumbed to cancer at 52, the first time he'd ever been to the US, after spending his life building a "Father and Son's/Home Depot" type business over in Scotland, the fruits of which he never really got the chance to enjoy. His wife and children are now reaping the benefit of the years of sweat and toil he expended building this multi-million dollar enterprise. Anyways, I asked him one day about his opinion on mixed marriages, in my mind, of the type that included interracial spouses. He looked at me and chuckled, saying in the craziest mothball-mouthed, cryptic celtic/english/scottish brogue, "I couldn't give two shits about a mixed marriage, I'm in one myself". I looked at him cross-eyed, thinking, "you crazy old fuc*er, your wife is white just like you!." I said to him, "Unc, what are you talkin' about? You and Marge are both the same color!" He says, "Oh, I thought you were talking about something else! Where I come from, a mixed-marriage is when a Catholic marries a Protestant! That's big shit! I thought me mum was gonna die when I told her Margie wasn't Catholic!" It's really crazy what people deem important.

posted by Mal @ 8:56 AM